Jupiter Ascending

Now I don’t want to say this is one of the worst films I’ve ever seen, but I think this might be one of the worst films I’ve ever seen. For a start the plot is just a bit all over the place. It jumps about so much that you never really get to know any of the characters, let alone care about them – if Mila Kunis dies in this, I don’t think I’ll lose much sleep over it.

The acting is – how do I put this nicely – ridiculous. Channing Tatum and Mila Kunis don’t really seem to care, while Eddie Redmayne does the polar opposite, attempting to be so overly evil that he becomes a hilarious caricature of himself. It’s lucky he had that Oscar in his back pocket, otherwise I fear for his career.

Even the CGI is disappointing. Some of the effects are nicely done, but the larger shots of entirely fictional worlds look hammy and bland, lacking the sort of detail you would expect from a modern big-budget space-opera.

Overall, not a great piece of cinema.

Having said all this, however, it might well be some of the most fun I’ve had watching a film in a long time. The pure crapness of it all made it absolutely hilarious. Watching Channing Tatum weirdly glide around the screen like a figure-skater on cocaine was surreal. The arrival of Sean Bean as his normal grumpy self is enough to make any film instantly ten times better. And the discovery that Mila Kunis is somehow a literal ‘Queen Bee’ (sorry Beyonce) is comic gold.

Although it’s undoubtedly not what the Wachowski siblings had in mind, but c’mon. When a supposedly terrifyingly evil character seriously says “Lying is the only reason I wake up”, how are we not meant to laugh?

In all seriousness though, this is not a good film, but if you’re wanting some light entertainment with some friends who enjoy taking the piss out of things, then it’s a fun way to spend an evening.

Rating: 5/10


Image courtesy of Gage Skidmore


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